I Can't Go Back
by nina0286
Summary: After so much suffering and so many nights that I cried myself to sleep, today the pain has finally disappeared there is a new love in my life and he has taught me to move on. starts of KC x Clare and Eli x Julia but the inevitable will happen, Eclare.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I have written other Eclare stories but hopefully this one will be different I hope everyone likes it and please keep in mind that this is the first chapter so nothing interesting really happens this is more to get the story rolling. In this story Eli and Julia are niners just like Clare and her friends, also they might be a little OOC.  
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**Sadly I do not own Degrassi **

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KC and I are still going strong, it is a little harder now that he is the star of the basketball team since he has to practice a lot but we make it work.

I am the prop master for our school play Spring Awakening which is being directed by the handsome Declan Coyne, Alli tells me I shouldn't look at Declan like that but I really don't see anything wrong with it I mean it's like when you go to a restaurant just because you already ordered your dessert it does not mean you can't continue to look at the menu. I mean I would never act on my little crush on Declan because first of all we both have a significant other and I am not that type of girl, and to tell you the truth I'm a little scared of Holly J I really think she could destroy me literally.

So here we are with three months left of school and busier than ever. Alli and I were planning on double dating this weekend but of course Johnny thinks he is too good to hang around with minor niners so we had to cancel.

I really don't know how Alli can date that jerk, he treats her like dirt he doesn't respect her and the only reason he is kind of talking to her in public is because she sexts him, I mean what kind of boyfriend is that? Now I know KC is not perfect but he does respect me and he treats me good.

Eli's POV

There are three months left in school, and what do my parents decide to do? Move, that means I will have to attend a new school for three months and then we are out for the summer. I really don't know what my parents were thinking who would talk to the new guy coming in to the school year so late and especially one that looks like me. Not that I really care what people think of me if I did I wouldn't dress the way I do or look like most people call it like an "Emo" but I don't care what people think.

I walk up to my new school Degrassi Community School, there are kids all around and you can easily see the different groups in the school you have all your jocks either in the basketball court or tossing a football back and forth, then there are the cheerleaders those girls are so annoying they are all on the front of the school welcoming the students with big fake smiles. The deadbeats are all huddled in a corner in the far end of the school I'm almost positive they are smoking, I also see the "nerds" as some people like to call the smart kids sitting on a picnic table studying.

People are giving me weird looks but I ignore it, just as I was going to walk in to the school I see an angel, her jet black hair is pulled up in a ponytail her bangs are covering one of her hazel eyes, she is wearing black skinny jeans black converse and a black DeadHand t-shirt that was cut out and you can see her shoulder and her midsection. She is leaning against a wall alone she looks up and sees me staring at her I give her mi signature smirk she just glares at me and turns to get her bag.

I walk in to the school and walk to the front office but I can't take that angel out of my mind she is beautiful. I get my schedule from the front office and the first bell rings I walk to my first class math, hurray; can you tell I am being sarcastic? I hand the teacher a note that the front desk gave me she asks me to sit behind some girl named Julia like I'm supposed to know who that Is I just moved here sometimes people can have no common sense.

I stay staring at the rows of desks to see if there is an open one and then I see a girl raise her hand and motions for me to go to her I can't see her too well because there is a big boy sitting in front of her. When I reach her desk I see the angel from earlier this morning she nods and point to the desk behind her, I guess she is Julia. As soon as I sit down the bell rings and the teacher begins to talk.

"We have a new student with us so everyone please make Elijah Goldsworthy feel welcome" I hate when people call me Elijah only my parents can call me that and only on rare occasions. "I actually go by Eli" The teacher eyes me and just nods then continues to her lesson for the day.

I spend almost all my time coloring my nails with a sharpie I am that bored all though I don't want this class to end that way I have more time to look at Julia.

Clare's POV

There are about ten minutes left in first period and since Alli and I are done with our work the teacher lets us sit all the way in the back and talk.

"Did you see the new guy?" of course Alli would be talking about a boy that is all she ever talks about sometimes I wonder how we are best friends we are so different.

"No I didn't." Alli's big almond eyes open up even wider if that is at all possible. She takes a deep breath and begins to tell me the story of this "hot" new guy and how he has dreamy eyes she goes on and on about him I pretend to pay attention to her by nodding in some occasions and oh and ah in others. I get bits from her story but I really could care less about this guy I already have a boyfriend.

The bell rings I get my books and Alli is still going on about the new guy can't she ever give it a rest. "So yeah he is totally hot I hope I have a class with him even though he is not my type he looks like he would be more into girls like Julia." Alli says I can hear the venom dripping from her mouth as she says this, I really don't know why she is upset that she is not his type she doesn't even know his name.

"Who is Julia" I ask her as we walk to our lockers.

"That girl that is always wearing all black" I don't recall this Julia but I know if I tell her I don't know who she is talking about she will spend all next period talking about her so I just nod and smile.

KC is waiting for me at my locker I get to him and he kisses my cheek he knows that I'm not much for PDA and he respects that. Jenna comes running behind us she stops in front of Alli and they start to giggle I can kind of hear what actually more like who they are talking about, yup you guessed it the new guy.

"So how was science?" KC asks me putting his hand around my waist I smile at him "It was ok there was not much to do, Oh I almost forgot to ask you do you have any plans after the championship game?" Degrassi had made it to the Finals in basketball for the first time since Jimmy Brooks stopped playing which was a while back so the whole school was really excited about it.

"No I guess if we win the team is going to want to go celebrate, you can come along if you want to or we can do whatever you want." You see why I'm crazy about this boy he is always putting me first we reach our math class which is one of the few we have together.

"Well I don't have anything special planned but I thought we could just hang out especially if the team wins, maybe we can go out with the team for a bit and then go to Connor's house and watch movies." I say with a devilish grin on my face, KC and I have never been intimate the farthest we had gone was kissing but last week we started really making out and let me tell you making out with KC is great.

That's why I want to go to Connor's house see his room is the basement and when we are there Alli knows the drill she distracts Connor and KC and I have a little alone time he does know that it can't go any further than making out though because I do intend to keep my promise to stay pure until marriage I mean we haven't even said I love you yet and I am not sure if I do love him I know I like him a lot but I don't think I love him at least not yet.

"That sounds good Clare-bear" the bell rings and for the rest of the class I just doodle on my notebook.

Eli's POV

The rest of my classes were a big blur I really didn't pay much attention all I wanted was to see Julia again, there was something about her that intrigued me maybe it was the way she dressed or the fact that she liked DeadHand.

It was now lunch time I got my food and looked around for a table to sit at, everyone was looking at me some of the girls were looking at me some in a "he is so cute way" and others in a "who is that freak way" but I don't care.

I see Julia in a table there are a few people with her but there is a free space right next to her I debate on whether or not to sit there, I decided to just go for it and sit with her "Is this seat taken" Julia looks up at me and smiles she shakes her head and motions for me to sit next to her.

"So Eli, how has the rest of your day been?" Julia turns to look at me and smiles.

"It's been all right and yours?" I give her my signature smirk again and this time I get the reaction I usually get from girls her cheeks start to get a hint of red on them.

"It's been good, so let me see your schedule we might have another class other than math together." She holds out her hand and I hand it to her she looks over my schedule and smiles really big.

"It seems like we have four classes together." She hands it back to me and stares straight into my eyes I can't help but get the chills at the way she looks at me.

Clare's POV

One month down two to go.

Degrassi won the basketball championship all thanks to my boyfriend when we went out with the team to celebrate KC gave a speech and said that he dedicated that game to me all my friends thought that it was the sweetest thing ever and I have to admit I did too.

So now here we are getting the last things set up for the school play which opens up in two weeks. Declan and I have been staying after school to work on it I have really started caring for him as a brother I still think he is good looking but now that I'm getting to know him more I see that he is really not my type. Even Holly J and I have started to talk more she is really nice once you get to know her and of course as long as you don't cross her.

Alli is still with Johnny he started changing a bit with her, he even talks to us "niners" in public now. Let's see Jenna dated Chantey's cousin, Dave, for about a week that was fun to watch I felt bad for Dave but he is such a clown sometimes, no wonder Jenna got tired of him I think it also didn't help that she is crazy about the new guy that I still haven't really seen. But apparently he is already dating Julia she sure works fast she didn't give the other girls a chance, but according to Alli they are meant for each other whatever that means.

Eli's POV

I have been at Degrassi for a month and it has really been a good month, Julia and I started dating two weeks after I got here we would spend every afternoon together even on the weekends so it was bound to happen sooner or later I preferred it be sooner. Now a days we don't spend as much time together as we used to because she started working for Holly J and Jane two girls that are running a baby-sitter business, it sucks for me but I don't want to creep her out so I just go with it and settle for seeing her at school.

When I started dating Julia the girls here at Degrassi started rumors about her they said that she had done some sort of witchcraft on me which I found completely ridiculous, Julia is everything I could want in a girl she is hot has a great sense of humor and she loves DeadHand what more could I ask for? She put up with a lot of the crap the girls were giving her because of me and that was another reason why I like her she doesn't give a shit about what people think of her just like I don't.

The rumors have cooled off but on occasions I still hear people snicker when we walk by hand in hand. I have made a few other friends though like Sav he is a really cool guy he is in a band, STUDZ, with two seniors, Danny and Peter, and another guy that graduated last year, Spinner, he is dating Jane the girl Julia works for, they are all pretty cool but the only one that I can actually consider a friend is Sav.

Clare's POV

I can't believe the time is finally here "Spring Awakening" opens tomorrow I am so excited and at the same time nervous. Hopefully tomorrow will go by according to plan.

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**Please review I really love to get reviews.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the wait but this past week has been really hectic I hope you like the story I know at first it's sort of boring but I will get in to the good stuff soon. **

**I do not own Degrassi**

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**Eli's POV**

There is one week left before we are out of school for the summer and I can't wait. Especially because I will be getting my driver's permit that week and then the following weekend there is going to be a DeadHand reunion concert and my dad was able to get me four backstage tickets to it so I'm taking Julia, Sav and his girlfriend Anya.

"Hey Eli, you remember Holly J right?" how could I forget her she was the reason why I couldn't spend much time with Julia. I nodded at her and she continued "Well her boyfriend Declan," I cut her off "the guy that produced that awful school play?" she giggled when I said this and nodded.

"Well anyway he is having a pool party on the last day of school it is supposed to be for Seniors and Juniors only but since I am one of the best baby sitter's Holly J has she invited me and a guest, so what do you say?" she looked at me with hopeful eyes.

I hated parties people were always trying to show off and no one ever acted like themselves. I guess Julia could tell that I was about to say no because she started pouting and batting her eyes. I'm a sucker for her so I had no choice but give in.

"Fine we can go to the pool party." I said with a smirk on my face she smiled at me and wrapped her arms around my neck. "You are the perfect boyfriend, did you know that?" she said kissing my cheek.

"I have been told that many times." I sarcastically said to her, Julia playfully hit me in my arm and rolled her eyes she took my hand and dragged me to our next class.

**Clare's POV**

I was in the MI lab when suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder I jumped and quickly turned around to see Declan standing behind me.

"Sorry I didn't mean to scare you, prop-master Clare." He gave me an apologetic smile I chuckled and closed the page I was working on.

"What's up Declan?" he sat next to me and handed me an envelope. "What's this?" I asked him eying the envelope in my hand.

"Well open it to find out" he told me.

I opened the envelope and took out the card inside of it, it was an invitation to a pool party at his house. I read the invite and looked up to smile at him.

"It's supposed to be for seniors and juniors only but you are my prop-master and my friend so I wanted to invite you, it's for you and one guest so bring that boyfriend of yours if you want." He stood up from the chair.

"Sounds like fun I will see you there." I smiled at him. He walked towards the door and I turned my attention back to my work.

"Oh before I forget you have to wear a bikini I don't want none of that one piece bathing suit there, ok?" I felt my cheeks begin to burn but I nodded at him anyway.

That evening I called Alli and Jenna over to my house I had to tell them about the party and I needed them to go shopping with me to find the perfect bikini.

"Shut up, you, little saint Clare are going to a pool party in a bikini!" Alli exclaimed when I told them about my invite.

"Ok who are you and what have you done with our friend?" Jenna joked back.

"It's not that hard to believe I am growing and changing, come on guys it's not that big of a deal" I shot back at them as I lay on my bed looking up at my ceiling.

"Not a big deal, are you kidding me?" Alli says pulling me up by arms so I am sitting down looking at her. "This is a senior and junior party and you and KC are going to be the only niners there, not to mention that your secret crush asked you to wear a bikini." Jenna nodded agreeing with the statement that Alli made.

I guess they were right it was sort of a big deal and that is why I called them so they could help me pick out a bathing suit.

"Fine, let's just go to the mall so I can buy a bathing suit." I got up from my bed and walked to my bedroom door Alli and Jenna followed close behind. I walked downstairs my parents were in the living room watching TV.

"Mom, Dad can one of you drive us to the mall?" I asked them, they turned to look at us we all had smiles on our face my dad nodded and put the control down.

"Do you want to come along Helen? We can walk around while the girls shop." My agreed so we all went to my dad's car.

When we got to the mall we went our separate ways Alli, Jenna and I headed to Bikini Village we figured this store would be the best bet to find the perfect bikini. We walked in the store and we all went our separate ways to try and cover more ground Alli picked three bikinis Jenna picked four and I picked two we met at the dressing rooms.

"Ok here you go try them on and come out and show us that way we can pick the best one." Alli squealed I walked into the dressing room and started trying them on, there were some that I just would never wear so I didn't even bother to show them I finally narrowed it down to three a pink one a blue one and a black and white one. After showing Alli and Jenna we all picked the black and white one it was different from anything else I would wear but that's kind of what I wanted to go for.

It bottom is black with a white belt and on the belt buckle it has a little skull and the top is also black but it has white skinny lines you buckle it on the front which I really like because that way you don't have to tie it around your neck and on the buckle there is another skull with little flowers around it.

I also got a white cover up dress and a pair of black flip flops. "Oh Clare you are going to look so good now if only we could get rid of your glasses." Alli stated I stuck my tongue out at her and she playfully slapped my shoulder.

**Eli's POV**

It was finally here the last day of school I walked to Julia's locker she was still cleaning it out I on the other hand had cleaned it out last week although I think it helped that I didn't have much in it other than my text books.

"Hey Julia you ready?" She turned to look at me and smiled.

"Yeah I just finished" she said throwing away one last piece of paper in the trashcan next to her locker and closing it for the last time.

"Good, let me take you home so you can get changed for this awesome pool party and I will be back to pick you up." I said in a sarcastic tone. I really didn't want to spend more time than I already had with this people. They didn't like me so I didn't like them but I would do anything to keep my Julia happy.

"Sounds good Elijah" Julia said walking towards the exit.

"Don't call me that please. It's just Eli" I shot at her it sounded meaner than I had intended it to but I really hate it when people call me Elijah. Julia just turned to look at me at with her big hazel eyes and gave me a weak smile.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to sound mean." I whispered taking her hand and kissing her cheek.

I dropped Julia off at her house and walked to mine the walk was not that long it only took me ten minutes to get there. I went upstairs to my room and changed into my black and red shorts with a skull on the side. I grabbed a black t-shirt and my towel and headed back out of the house.

When I got back to Julia's house she was already outside waiting for me her older brother was driving us to Declan's house so as soon as I got there Julia poked her head in the house and called out for him to let him know we were ready to go.

The drive took about fifteen minutes when we finally arrived there were cars and people all around already. We walked into the house which is huge the butler showed us to the back were the pool party was taking place.

Julia was the first to walk out I followed close behind Holly J was greeting a few people and when she saw Julia she walked over to us.

"Hey I'm glad that you guys could make it. So is this your boyfriend?" Holly J said looking at me up and down Julia nodded and introduced us.

"Well come over here I want you to meet Declan and a few of my friends." We followed Holly J towards the grill there were a few people around that I recognized from school, the drummer from Sav's band was also here.

**Clare's POV**

KC what is taking you so long we are going to be late? I was pacing back and forth in my bedroom KC was supposed to pick me up and his mom was supposed to drive us to the party but he still wasn't here.

Just as I was about to call him I hear a honk outside my house I look out the window and see KC's mom's car in our driveway. I run downstairs and as I am heading out the door I call out to my parents "KC is here I'll be back later." I ran out the door but I still heard my mom tell my dad "I don't like that this KC boy doesn't even have the courtesy to come to the front door and ask for Clare."

I tried to push that thought away but it did bother me that he honked to get me out here instead of going to my front door and greeting my parents.

"Hey Sweetie, how are you?" KC's mom asked me when I got in the car.

"I'm good thanks Mrs. Guthrie." KC's mom is a beautiful woman she has dark brown hair she is slender and has brown eyes she really is a sweet lady and she really likes me which is a plus.

"Oh don't call Mrs. Guthrie, call me Lisa." I smile at her and she winks at me through the rearview mirror.

We arrive at Declan's house I have been here before while we were getting stuff ready for the play. So when I rang the doorbell the butler knew right away who I was.

"Ms. Edwards welcome the party is in the back." He points to the back door and KC and I walk to the backyard as soon as I get there I spot Declan and Holly J they are by the grill with a group of people from school. Even Spinner is at the party which is great I haven't seen him in a long time.

"Prop-master Clare, get over here" Declan calls out to me KC and I walk up to him and Declan wraps his arms around me giving me a big hug. I smile and hug him back then he whisper in my ear "I hope that you are wearing a bikini under that dress." I begin to blush.

**Eli's POV**

"This is Spinner Jane's Boyfriend, Peter, Danny, Leia, Chantey, Peter, Sav, Anya, Fiona and Declan" She says pointing at her boyfriend they all look at us and smile.

"Prop-master Clare, get over here" Declan says to a cute girl, she has long curly hair and wears glasses she is wearing a white dress and black flip flops.

Declan pulls the girl into a hug and she begins to blush.

"I can't believe Declan would hug a girl in front of Holly J" Julia tells me in my ear I just roll my eyes at her comment and continue to talk to Sav.

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**Please don't forget to review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the lack of updates. I know where I want to go with this story but I just couldn't type it, it seemed different when I did but I think I finally was able to write a decent chapter. Hopefully my next update won't take me as long to do. Hope you guys like it. Oh and I changed it from different POV's to third party.**

**I do not own Degrassi I only own my OC's please do not take them and if you do at least ask first.**

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Summer was almost over and to KC that meant that in a week he had to go back to being the loyal, caring perfect boyfriend that Clare thought him to be even if deep inside he knew it was all just a façade to please her. KC knew he cared for Clare he really did but he was still a teenage boy and having her promise abstinence until marriage was really hard for him because he was not the one that made that promise to god so he didn't understand why he had to oblige.

A week after Declan's pool party KC went out with the guys in the basketball team they met up at Above the Dot, once there girls from the Degrassi Power squad showed up. It had all been innocent just the two groups of teenagers hanging out enjoying their time out of school but for KC it soon changed to something much more.

He looked at one of the girls and he immediately felt attracted to her she has long brown hair, huge green eyes and a smile that drove any guy insane. "Take a picture of her it will last you longer, just make sure Clare doesn't see it." Dave teased him pulling KC out of the trance that this girl he hardly knew had put on him.

"I wasn't staring at her" He said to Dave nervously stealing one more glance at the beautiful girl. Dave just laughed at his friend's sad way of trying to hide the attraction that he felt for this girl.

"Her name is Abigail." Dave whispered to KC who just nodded at the new found information. He wanted to know more but he wasn't sure how to go about getting it without seeming interested in Abigail.

And then he saw her, his opportunity to learn everything he could about this mystery girl. "Hey Chantey how is it going?" he asked her, Chantey was walking towards them and when she realized who was talking to her, her eyes widen 'what does he want?' she asked herself but she didn't want to seem rude so she returned the smile and the greeting at him.

"Hey KC, It's going good how about you?" Chantey wanted to sound normal but she couldn't she was surprised that KC was talking to her she could not remember the last time they had talked hell she wasn't even sure if they had ever said as much as hi to each other.

"So I see a lot of new faces in the power squad, when did that happen?" KC tried to ask nonchalant he figured he did a good job at it since Chantey began giving him the information he wanted.

"Oh yeah, well let's see Abigail she likes to go by Abby by the way moved here two months before the end of the school year but we let her in the power squad because she is an awesome gymnast and she was co-captain at her old school and since a few of our girls graduated last year we figured we might as well put her in before she goes for another club and also so she can practice with us over the summer."

KC smiled being pleased with the information he had received. He continued to have small talk with Chantey so she wouldn't suspect that all he wanted was information on the new girl.

As time passed by KC was becoming more and more intrigued by this girl he didn't know what it was about her but something about her drove him insane. Once it came time to leave KC decided to make a move on the girl.

"Abby, right?" KC said walking up to Abby she smiled and nodded at him. "Do you live around here?" KC felt his heart beat quicken with every second that he spent near this girl.

"Um I live a block down from Degrassi." Abby said shyly there was no denying she felt attracted to KC since the moment she caught him staring at her. "I uh live a few blocks away maybe I can walk you? If that's ok with you of course" He didn't know what he was doing he had a girlfriend that he really cared about so he wasn't sure why he wanted to get to know Abby more.

"Sure." They walked out of Above The Dot together and talked about Degrassi and how it was so different from Abby's old school. Once they reached her house KC again felt his heart beat race. He looked at Abby's green eyes he could see a hint of a blush on her cheeks without even thinking he leaned in and kissed her it was a soft kiss just two pairs of lips touching but soon KC took the kiss deeper he wrapped his arms around her waist and hers went to his neck Abby ran her fingers through KC's thick brown hair.

After a few seconds of this something in KC finally snapped and he pulled away "My… uh parents are out, do you want to come in?" This was it this was what KC wanted but deep down he felt guilty one for doing this to Clare and two for leading Abby on, he knew very well that he was not going to leave Clare he had something good with her.

"Abby I think I should be honest with you" he began "I have a girlfriend and I really shouldn't have kissed you." He felt ashamed of his actions, he knew it was wrong but there was no denying that he was attracted to this girl she was everything that Clare wasn't.

"Oh, do you love her, does she love you?" Abby quickly asked, she was attracted to KC and to her he having a girlfriend was not a problem she was used to dealing with girl drama.

"Well no we are not at that point yet but I…" she interrupted him by placing her lips over his. Abby slowly pulled away from the kiss her arms still wrapped around his neck "Then it doesn't matter to me, look I have a boyfriend at my old school but I want something on the side so what do you say, do you want to come in?"

There was no way KC could turn this down this is what he wanted to be able to take care of his needs without having to leave Clare. He hesitated for a moment but then agreed to go in. "You won't regret it" Abby said to him as she pulled him up to her room.

They let their attraction towards each other take over nothing and no one else seemed to matter to them they were too busy enjoying one another.

This went on all summer long KC would always find an excuse to why he couldn't go out with Clare and she believed every lie that he fed her, there were times when she would doubt that he was saying the truth but whenever that happened KC was sure to cancel on Abby so he could spend time with his girlfriend.

And now here he was about to start school again and not really sure where he and Abby were going to stand after school began he knew he wanted to continue what they had but he also knew that it was going to be harder to hide it and he was not willing to risk his relationship with Clare for her.

Clare on the other hand spend her summer with her friends it had been a very uneventful summer for them which to her it was great but Jenna and Alli always wanted to be out enjoying the warm weather where Clare preferred to be home reading a good book. Her and her friends were so different but that was what made them work so well together, their differences.

Clare, Jenna and Alli were all in Clare's room listening to music and talking about boys. "Do you think he gets annoyed at the fact that I wear a purity ring?" Clare casually asked her friends, this question has been on her mind for a long time but she never had the guts to ask until now.

Jenna and Alli both looked at each other surprised at what was coming out of their friend's mouth. Alli was the first one to speak up "Well sweetie I'm sure that he isn't crazy about it but I think that he understands that this is your belief and he respects it."

"Has he ever tried to do anything with you?" Jenna asked sitting down across from Clare. A blush crept to Clare's cheeks she was not used to talking about this sort of things but she also felt the need to do it she wanted to get advice on how to handle this situation.

"No he hasn't tried anything in a long time." Clare began she was hesitating on whether or not to tell her friends what was on her mind after a few seconds of silence she decided to just get it over with and tell them. "Darcy had this rule with Peter where he could do anything he wanted above the waist, I was thinking that maybe I should do the same with KC" Clare was as red as a tomato she couldn't believe she was saying all this out loud.

Alli and Jenna both looked at each other and then at their friend shocked was written all over their face they had never thought that they would see the day where Saint Clare would talk about something sexual.

"Well if you think that this is something you really want then I say go for it but don't do it just to keep KC happy, he should just be happy to have a girl like you giving him the time of day." Alli said to her friend, Alli likes KC but she doesn't like the fact that he might be pressuring Clare to do something she isn't ready for. Alli didn't want Clare to do the same mistake she did with Johnny.

She didn't want Clare to feel like she owed this boy something and after she gave it to him to feel like she wasn't worth anything anymore. Because that is exactly how Alli felt after she lost her virginity to Johnny and even though she acts like she is fine she still cries herself to sleep every now and then.

The worst part of all this was that Johnny never cared for her the way she cared for him he just used her and when he got tired of her he threw her away as if she was nothing but a piece of trash. Thinking about all this brought tears to Alli's eyes she quickly tried blinking them away, she didn't want her friends to see her in pain over him anymore.

"Alli has a point Clare, KC should be happy to be with you even if you don't do anything sexual with him." Jenna added, Jenna had also been intimate with a guy before she moved to Degrassi and he had also played with her feelings so she had sworn off guys until she met the new guy Eli, but she knew he had a girlfriend and as much as she was attracted to him she knew that she would never be able to come between Eli and Julia.

Eli would not leave Julia for anything or anyone and everyone knew that. They hadn't been together that long but everyone could see that they were connected at hip. They were always together there were even rumors going around that they were living together. Of course this weren't that farfetched rumors; Eli and Julia were sort of living together.

Julia would stay at Eli's house whenever she would get in a fight with her step mom which was very often. At first he didn't know what to do to help her with her problems but after a few weeks of seeing how much pain Julia was in he decided that it was time to talk to his parents. At first they were not thrilled about having their son's girlfriend staying with them but after Eli told them everything that Julia would go through they agreed.

"I love The Dead Hand's new song, don't you?" Julia asked Eli. They were sitting on Eli's bed listening to music and reading comic books, something they both loved to do. Eli put his copy of the goon down and looked at Julia who was reading X-men.

"Yeah, Paisley Jacket is really good but I like some of their older work." This was where you could really see the difference between them; Eli is a huge music fan and having his dad in the music industry really made him appreciate good music.

"Of course you do." Julia teased throwing a pillow at Eli's head. He dodged the pillow and pulled Julia down gently getting on top of her. "I see that I need to teach you manners on how to treat the guy that is so kindly letting you stay in his room." Julia began giggling and trying to squirm from Eli's grip but at this moment she knew it was impossible.

Eli leaned down and began kissing her lips he slowly moved down to her jawline and down to her neck, Julia had her arms wrapped around his neck and her fingers where tangled on his black hair. Their breathing became shallower as lust took over them. They had been dating for a few months and had been living together since the beginning of summer but they still hadn't done anything more than the full on make out sessions.

Although today something felt different Eli didn't know why but he felt the need to make Julia his he carefully ran his right hand down to her leg and started to rub it against her he slowly moved his hand up to the hem of her shirt he pulled on it and Julia lifted herself up to give him enough space to lift her shirt off.

Eli ran his hand across her soft skin and he felt her skin heat up with every touch of his fingers. His hand continued to roam her body and just as it was about to reach her breast his bedroom door swung open.

"Hey dude your mom said to come on up." Adam called out before seeing his friend in a compromising situation.

"Oh shit I'll be back." Adam called out closing the door behind him. Eli jumped off of Julia and straightened up Julia quickly pulled her shirt down and ran to the restroom to wash her face with cold water.

Eli walked over to his door and opened it to see a shocked Adam pacing back and forth. "Hey dude, come in." Eli said to him, Adam did as he was told but he didn't look up at his friend.

"I'm sorry I should have knocked." Adam began to apologize Eli just smirked at him while shaking his head "Don't worry about it bro, so what's going on?" Eli said trying to make him feel comfortable again.

Adam had moved in next door to Eli at the beginning of summer and they immediately hit it off. It was as if they had known each other forever they had so much in common it was scary at times. They both loved comics, food and The Dead Hand. Adam had an older step-brother named Drew but they were so different, Drew was older and a jock and Adam well Adam wasn't in to sports that much he enjoyed watching it but he wouldn't play them.

"Did you hear that The Dead Hand is having a reunion concert in a month?" Adam asked excited that his favorite band was coming to town for a concert. Eli of course heard about this concert two weeks ago from his dad but he didn't want to burst his friend's bubble so he pretended he didn't know about it.

"Are you serious? That is awesome hopefully we get a chance to go." Eli exclaimed and he saw Adam's eyes light up at the thought of going to a The Dead Hand concert.

"That would be epic, but its fifty miles away do you think Morty would be up for it?" Morty was Eli's hearse he bought it a few weeks after school let out and even though people were weird out by the hearse Eli loved it. "Definitely" Eli said already making plans in his head about the concert.

Just then Julia walked out of the restroom, Adam thought that she would be embarrassed by what happened but she wasn't she just walked out said hi to Adam and went back to the bed to continue to read her comic book.

"So the tickets go on sale the first day of school, I don't know how we are going to buy them" Adam said worried that his dream concert would be ruin by school. "Then I guess my mom or dad, are going to have to get them for us." Eli said his parents are not the typical parents they are more lay back and they pretty much let Eli get away with anything.

"Are you guys talking about The Dead Hand concert?" Julia asked from across the room the two boys nodded at her and she grinned at them "And you are thinking about taking your wonderful girlfriend, right?" Eli smirked at her and nodded. "Good. Hopefully we can get there early to get good spots."

Adam and Eli both looked at each other and agreed. "Hey Adam do you have the new Goon comic? Eli doesn't have it and I am dying to read it." Julia said to Adam who smiled at the question obviously he had the new comic he would always get the new comics the same day that they came out and this one came out two days ago.

"Yeah I do, I'll bring it to you later." Julia smiled at him and went back to her comic. "Dude, how did you get so lucky to find a girl just like you but with a banging body?" He asked Eli who just smiled at his friend's comment.

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**Please review the story that way I can know if it's even worth it for me to keep on writing it or if I should just stop. Again PLEASE REVIEW.**


	4. Chapter 4

Clare was looking through her closet trying to figure out what she was going to wear tomorrow. She wanted something that stood out but not too much and definitely nothing slutty. After an hour or so she finally found the perfect first day of school outfit. It was a jean squirt with a blue shirt that had pink and red flowers on it she took out a pair of Mary Jane's and her favorite jean jacket "perfect" she whispered as she set the outfit out on her desk.

KC was sitting on his bed looking at a picture of himself and Clare. They were at The Dot sitting next to each other and he had his arm around her and she was leaning against his shoulder. Just then it hit KC he didn't want to risk his relationship with Clare he really loved her and he had been a big idiot for cheating on her with Abby.

He pulled his cell phone out and texted Abby 'it's over. I'm done I don't want to play around anymore.' He hit send and waited to see if he got a response from her.

'Why?' was all that she replied.

KC took a deep breath and texted her back 'I can't do this to Clare; she is a wonderful girl and deserves to be treated as such.'

Within a minute she replied 'If that is what you want, but you will be back and I will be here waiting because you are that good.' KC looked at the text and decided not to continue the conversation he sent one last text before going to bed. 'Hey beautiful, meet me tomorrow in the entrance I really need to talk to you.' He hit sent and waited for the reply.

'Sounds good, I miss you see you tomorrow bright and early .' KC smiled when he saw the reply and realized that he had done the right thing to end everything with Abby.

"Hey Adam is going to catch a ride to school with us tomorrow ok." Eli said to Julia who just nodded, she was putting her book bag close to the door so she would have it ready for tomorrow.

By the time Clare's alarm went off she had already been awake for fifteen minutes. She was anxious to get to school for two major reasons, one she just loved the first day of school she loved everything about it, getting to know her teachers and especially seeing what books she was going to have to read even though she probably had already read them. And the second reason was to talk to KC.

Clare felt as if through the summer her and KC had drifted apart, they didn't spend as much time as they use to together but for some reason she felt as if yesterday's text was a way of him trying to fix their relationship and she hoped that that was true.

KC arrived to school twenty minutes before the bell rang; he sat on the steps and waited for his girlfriend to arrive. After waiting for five minutes he saw her getting off the bus with her best friends her hair was down and left curly she was wearing a short jean skirt with a blue shirt with pink flower that really brought out her eyes.

As she walked towards him he was sure that he had made the right decision to end things with Abby. "Hey beautiful, how are you?" he greeted her once she reached him. Clare got on her tippy toes and placed a chaste kiss on KC's lips.

"All better now that I got to see you." She answered shyly, Clare was not the type to be flirty but she did want to keep her boyfriend entertained she knew she had to step up her game.

"I'm glad to hear that." KC said before leaning down and kissing Clare on the lips but this time he deepened the kiss. "Gross" Jenna and Alli said at the same time teasing KC and Clare who had a deep blush on her cheeks.

"So you wanted to talk to me?" Clare asked after her embarrassment passed, KC nodded and took a deep breath he knew this was it, it was now or never he looked in to his girlfriend's eyes and began "I have something to tell you and I don't want you to feel obligated to say anything but I really have to get this off my chest." His heart was pounding he thought everyone around them was able to hear it.

Clare never took her eyes of him and that gave him a little bit of confidence. "Clare I really like you, you are the prettiest and smartest girl I know and well… I just wanted to say that…" Just then he saw Abby walking towards the door with her friends a blush crept in to his cheeks but he told himself to focus on the girl in front of him.

"That I love you." He blurted out as Abby passed next to them; she looked at KC and then began laughing. He wasn't sure if she was laughing because she heard him or at something else. Clare looked at KC she had a dumbfounded look on her face, she was shocked to say the least and she was not sure if she felt the same way she knew she really liked him but she was not sure that she loved him.

"I don't know what to say." She said just above a whisper. KC nodded and kissed her forehead "its fine Clare I don't expect you to say it back I just want you to know how I feel about you." Clare looked up at him and smiled.

All day long all Clare could do was think about what KC had said to her this morning she couldn't concentrate on anything else and what was worse was that she hadn't had a single class with her friends until right now. Clare walked in to the girl's locker room searching for Jenna and Alli; she spotted them at the end of the hallway talking to each other.

"Hey I need to talk to guys." Clare blurted out, Jenna and Alli both looked at Clare and motioned for her to continue.

"KC told me he loved me." Both girls were shocked at what had come out of Clare's mouth. "Did you say it back?" Alli asked her "No, I couldn't I don't know if I do love him or not all I said to him was that I wasn't sure what to say and apparently he was ok with it." Saying it out loud made Clare weary it made her doubt if he really meant it or if he is just messing with her.

"Well then you have to think about your feelings but don't tell him anything until you know you love him." Alli advised her and Jenna agreed. "I guess you are right." Clare said unsure of what to do. Just then the bell rang letting them know that it was time to walk out to the gym.

"All right ladies we are going to play badminton I will pick your partners and we will alternate the teams around so when I call your name and your partners name I will give you a number, even numbers sit to my right and odd numbers to my left. Here we go Abigail Luna and Trina Johnson you are number one, Alli Bhandari and Jenna Middleton two, Stacy McMillan and Kate Ortega three, Sandra Gonzalez and Bianca DeSousa four, Clare Edwards and Julia Montgomery five," The coach went on to the rest of the girls.

"Your partner is Eli's girlfriend" Jenna whispered in Clare's ear. Clare looked at Jenna as if she was crazy; she had no idea who Eli was. "Eli, the guy I have a crush on." Jenna answered annoyed. Clare just nodded and made her way to her partner.

"Hey so I guess we have to sit on the sideline until one of those two teams loses." Julia informed Clare.

The two girls sat on the bleachers and waited for a team to lose so they could go in and play even though they were both secretly hopping the game would go on forever so they would never get a chance to play.

"What grade are you in?" Clare asked Julia who was daydreaming about her boyfriend. "Tenth, and you?" Clare smiled at her "Same" the silence was a little awkward but it was better than being in the court playing.

"I can't believe they got us playing badminton on the first day of school." Julia scoffed. "You don't like sports?" Clare asked "Not that much. Plus I prefer to watch them than actually playing them." The rest of the class pretty much went on the same way; they would play a game and sit out two or three.

The next period was the one Eli was looking forward to, not only because he had it with his friend Adam but because it was English and English was the one subject he was good at.

"Do you think the teacher will assign good books to read? I don't want none of those chick books I want some action books maybe even a comic." Adam exclaimed walking next to Eli they were both headed to Mrs. Dawes English class. As soon as they walked in they were greeted by Mrs. Dawes. "Have stand along the wall I will call your name and your partners name and then the both of you can pick your seats." Mrs. Dawes explained to the Class.

'Great' Clare thought. She didn't like the idea of working with a partner in English class. She didn't want anyone bringing her grade down or having to do more work because of lazy partners.

"Let's begin, Mr. Torres you and Ms. Hensley can go and pick your desks, remember they have to be together so pick something you both like." Mrs. Dawes went on. After Adam and Kelsey picked desks Mrs. Dawes continued on her list.

"Mr. Fitzgerald you and Ms. DeSousa can go and pick your seats. Mr. Goldsworthy you and Ms. Edwards please pick your seats." Clare took a deep breath and walked towards the middle of the class to take her seat. She examined her new partner he has an emo look to him, all dressed in black with rings on all his fingers and thick leather bracelets on his hands. His hair is black and kind of shaggy with it falling right over his right eye.

Just as Clare was examining Eli, he was examining her he liked the natural look she had, even though he wasn't too in to the curly long hair on her it seemed to fit well and the way she handled herself was something he liked.

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